I think my life is coming to a Prigogine bifurcation. I'm a system out of equilibrium  and I can feel that singularity nearing. It's exciting to think that such a drastic change is coming but the knowledge that the result after the bifurcation can not be known is disquieting, to say the least.

The admirable, significant achievement of people who provide physical environments for the viable existence of other forms of life in ways that encourage procreation can be dwarfted by a kardashian flashing her ass, boggles my mind.

Today marks a milestone. I got the last piece of paper to be issued by Probate. I also received communication from the retirement people and those issues have been resolved. Amidst these events, however, the generator started its self-test only to stall and red light. Now I will have to get that fixed.

Really good day in a number of ways.

Took the day off and went out to an artists collective in Rhode Island. They had some really exotic plants out there. Stuff I've never  seen before. Beautiful pitcher plants. Many other kinds as well. Animals roaming around.

Came home to find favorite magazine ("Discover") AND a Beneficiary Kit from T. Rowe Price. Finally they acknowledge my presence. Filled forms out and mailed back same day.

Decided to treat myself for supper and got broccoli and shrimp from Mr. Pan's.

Another good day. Following the successes of yesterday, things are on a roll.

Mowed lawn this morning, Fertilized some plants. Washed dishes and kitchen floor. Shifted more stuff in upstairs rooms.

Yesterday was really good. Had eyeglasses fixed at Walmart for $2, turned over retirement fund collection to attorney Stu Norman. Maybe he will get somewhere with them. Also visited the school. It was wonderful seeing my friends and the kids again. Sister Mary Patrick is asking me to come back to the school. I could run the new computer lab. At first I was excited, it would be a chance to make a room a wonderful learning spot. A lab like no other. We could strip a computer to see what it looks like inside. We could learn about the various pieces and what they do. Then the distinction between hardware and software. Maybe a little programming for the older kids. With programmable robots. We could learn to tie today's components together computers & TVs, etc.

On the other hand, I think I'm starting to settle into a calm routine in my life. Get up before 7 so that I can peddle the bike for a half hour while watching my fellow human beings show off their  best on Jerry Springer. Shower. Coffee or tea. Launch into day. Go anywhere I want, whenever I want. That's pretty much total freedom.

I want so badly to travel again but so many factors pushing against it. Not so sure of the safety of megahours on the road these days. The country is so polarized and there are so many more guns floating around. Plus it would be so lonely now. By its very nature of solitude, the trip would be hours upon hours of reflecting on my existence and what it seems to mean. Not sure I want to know what I would conclude.

Glad to see that CERN has turned the Large Hadron Collider on again. This time they are supposed to be doubling previous energy levels. Can't wait to see what they discover beyond the Higgs. A part of me delights in the thought that all those physicists (who were likely to always be the smartest kids in a room) will find stuff that twists their little cocksure minds.

Got a lot done this week. Weather has been spectacular, the flowers are a riot of color lighting up whatever shadows might be left by the bleak winter, other humans seem more relaxed, less tense.

Have almost cleared out the upstairs second bedroom/closet. When Karen got sick, we tossed everything we didn't need for her direct care up into the bedroom and into the second bedroom which had served her for years as walk-in closet. By the time she passed on Sept. 8, 2014 the main bedroom was impenetrable due to a yard-sale explosion of cast-off items. The closet room became as bad but emphasized clothing, small furniture, and anything that wouldn't fit in the other room. To date I've managed to repurpose the main room as a bedroom. I'm trying to deal with the need to make room and the sometimes painful memories that process brings.

Busy day. Mowed lawn for first time this year. Moved some boxes for Mom and put in a screen. Cleared more clothing.

Made room in the bookshelf by packing up all my FileMaker books with the recognition that I will never build another data base with the complexity of the Wood River Evergreens Inventory/Billing system or the student data engine for Saint Joseph School. Out of all the various ways I used these machines over the years, database creation seemed the least like working. Loved every bit of the process. Even now I kinda feel that db results are like magic. Start with nothing. Get some data. Build a structure to hold the data. Automate the manipulation and presentation of said data. It is a wonderfully dynamic process with the ability to modify every aspect of the original structure at every point along the way. Incredibly satisfying to take something from an idea to useful real world applications. Interface design is more art than science I think. All together, db design and implementation gives one power: The power to smash data chunks together in different ways to generate useful information.

I will miss building dbs.

A good day all in all. Visit to cardiologist turned out to be all good. General health markers in great ranges, pacer actually working less hard than it used to, ultrasound turned out good. Pacer check-time in six months; next visit in a year.

Delivered brownies to Butch as thanks for repairing my brakes immediately. Still can't believe he dropped everything to replace  my car's brakes from the second I even brought them up.

AND, in addition to the great health day, got to learn some cool stuff today. One was about the Kardashev scale. Mind-bending. Takes your head to a whole new perspective.

Good day, today. Productive. Assembled a crew of son-in-law, brother-in-law and nephew and we moved all our downstairs furniture from the storage facility in Griswold to mom's basement. Now I'm out from under that monthly rent. We decided that it would be foolish to move everything back into the house just to move it out again to make room for mom in the winter. So, it will stay in her basement until we no longer need my front room as a bedroom. The ability to store that stuff without incurring cost is so welcomed for the relief it provides.