Today I decided to see if I could get back into a blog I remember setting up some months in the past. After a couple of fails, here I am, rediscovering my "blog" a day after I watched "Groundhog Day" until 3:30 a.m. Wow! The last -- and only -- time I  made an entry, it was to compare our lives with the movie "Groundhog Day." (Had no memory of previous post.)

This may not seem outwardly significant but that experience is central to my entire conception of a reality in which my wife is dying at age 56 from brain cancer. This shameful injustice on the part of nature is causing a fair amount of anger. (Helplessness may drive many a mass shooting. Hopefully  more productive outlets will channel that energy into something that builds rather than destroys.) This is the attempt to make something that recognizes and admires the existence of Karen Elizabeth xxxx-XXX.

The big problem at this moment, given this sudden urge to start a conversation, is how to get into a discussion of Karen's place in the universe? Do we go for her large, warm heart? Her sense of humor? Desire to be helpful? Toughness in adversity? Strength of character?

We must also address the question of "Why should I care?" "I" being  you. Well, even if you appear to have no connection to Karen and her life seems to have no significance to your own, we, who were lucky enough to be in her universe, suspect the "goodness" ripples she generated in her lifetime are radiating out, touching more and more lives as they pass. Perhaps at this very moment it is happening.

So where to start?

Her strength? (Over the hundreds of times she was asked during her health battle "How are you?" NEVER did she reply something other than: "I'm good," "I'm fine," "Things are good." NOT ONCE was her response negative.)

Her loyalty? (She worked for The Norwich Bulletin from the age of 16. It was like 40 something years with a very short break to another publication! Still, 40 something years!! -- We won't talk just yet of what she received for all those years of dedication and success. Let us establish early on that a review of that situation isn't going to be favorable for the employer.)

Her love? (Years of "first-day-of-school" pictures with nieces and nephews. School plays and sporting events. Birthdays. Graduations. Great sense of family. )

Groan. Caught in a loop.

But, while I get caught up in her praises, there is a universe in which this wonderful lady lies in the next room, in a hospital bed, almost motionless, dreaming of the past while she approaches an unknown future via the terminal malignancy of Glio (no, fuck you), glioblastoma multiforma.

Getting late. Just entered unpleasant territory. We will talk of her in the future. She will be the key.